So I think everyone needs to understand that living with diabetes hanging over your head every day is not all this life-affirming, positive experience. Yes, on most days I try to stay positive and deal with it in a proactive way. But some days, like today, just suck.
Today I had my blood test which shows how my diabetes has been under control over the last 3 months. It is called a HBA1c blood test. A normal person has a glycohemoglobin level of less than 5.7%. If you are between 5.7 and 6.4% you are classified as pre-diabetic. If you are over 6.5% it is not good! My reading today was 7.3%. So, not good. I can’t believe it because I have been doing really well with keeping my sugar levels low and have increased my exercising and if anything I think I have had more low sugar episodes than high episodes. So I just don’t understand it.
It is very discouraging to try so hard and still be told that it is not good enough.
So today, I am down and not feeling great. Mum is going to be right back onto me on how often I test my blood and making sure I take insulin when I am even a little bit high again. I know she means well but sometimes I am just so sick of being a pin cushion. I have also been in this semi kind of honeymoon period for the last few months where my pancreas has started to work again and produce its own insulin (apparently this never lasts forever) so it has been harder to gauge how much insulin to take and I have probably trusted in my body too much to look after itself.
The worst thing is that it looks like I will not be able to go to the UK for school next term as I had hoped to do. Mum is too worried about me. This is devastating.
So the diabetes roller-coaster continues – although to be honest I wish there were more of those high moments (emotional highs not sugar highs!). Tomorrow is another day and time to face the world with that positive attitude again…but for tonight, I am going to go and eat a tub of (sugar-free) ice-cream!